Anger, frustration, irritation, anxiety and self-destructive thoughts.

 Dealing with Negative Thoughts

One of the most important things you will learn in your life is that nothing can work according to you and nothing is perfect and it is completely okay to not to be perfect. One day your day will go like " it is the best day of my life " and other days it will be like " It is the worst day of my life ".
All you want to make sure is that you balance between the negative things and positive things.
Ever experienced a moment where you are boiling from top to bottom on someone who is not even present in front of you. Think about the most annoying person acquainted to you and try to remind yourself how many times they pissed you off.
Well someone who is already annoying deserves your hatred !! ( not really, just kidding . everybody deserves to loved )
okay now I want you to imagine a situation where you are waiting for someone, maybe its a date or maybe its an important meeting or maybe you are getting late for your trip and your partner hasn't reached yet. Now to add more wrath in your thoughts, let's say that this person is always late since the beginning, it's his/her 's natural habit of coming late.
So what are the thoughts, you will be having at this situation?
won't you feel like stabbing this person 10 times, right through his heart ?. I have been through that and to be more precise, I have experienced, how it feels because I have been in both of the places.
Let's extend more, now imagine the person came, and you just start bashing out all of your frustration caused by that person nowhere there are two possibilities, first, if you shout at this person, if this is not likely a patient one, your action would probably lead to a more powerful reaction. secondly, if this person is suffering from some amount of low self-esteem and is likely to take your wrath inside of him then you wouldn't expect any kind of 'action-reaction' thing here.
The result of both the situation is the same, none of you is going to feel cherishable and now adding one more thing in this list, suppose this time, this person was late because, on his way, he found someone who wanted some help or maybe the traffic was actually too bad or in simple words ' the reason/excuse for being late for this person was completely legitimate !!'.
How are you gonna feel after that? guilty? ( if you are generous by nature ) or maybe you won't care because It is very usual for him to come late. But then another question arises If you know that this person always reaches late then why getting angry for that, why to have negative thoughts for him/her.
There are hundreds and thousands of situations you are gonna feel anger, frustration, anxiety and on top of that, you won't even realize that 80% of these situations don't even need you to feel like that.
On evolutionary point of view, You mind, to be more precise your brain, has been programmed like that, It never likes unceratinity, It never wants to feel like, It doesn't know anything, It tends to assume things that are not exactly known yet. Assumptions are based on past experiences, most of them which are negative.
Your brain tends to keep the memories of bad experiences more active. Now what happens is, a typical average person who has comparably low gratitude towards life is sooner or later going to turn into a very easily-irritated individual. This person is going to get trapped in a cycle of irritation, anger , guilt , low self-esteem then low self confidence, again and again until this person reaches to a point of giving up everything, but that exact moment is going to be too late for that person.

Well your brain is programmed to think, react and assume too quickly now, what could be done to keep it in control and how to keep calm during tough situations where your mind feels like blowing up or when you feel intiating a mass destruction ?
The answer is very simple, practice MINDFULNESS.
Mindfulness is a very vast topic and I will elaborate more about this in my next blog. !


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